Leaving with children

What you can legally take when you leave

You can take your children, your own belongings, anything that belongs to the children, and copies of documents. Gather quietly over time, and photograph anything you can't carry.

• Identification for you and each child: birth certificates, health cards, passports, permanent resident or immigration papers, status cards.
• Health information: vaccination records, prescriptions, medication, glasses, hearing aids, each child's doctor's name.
• School and daycare information: report cards, individual education plans, contact details.
• Money and financial records: bank cards, one bank statement, pay stubs, tax slips, benefit letters, lease or mortgage papers.
• Anything that helps your children feel steady: a favourite blanket, a stuffed animal, a phone charger, a few days of clothing, diapers and formula.
• Any court papers you already have: protection orders, custody orders, police file numbers.
• Photos of larger items left behind, like furniture or a vehicle, to list later if property is divided.
• Take copies rather than originals where you can, and store photos of every document in the Vault in this app in case your bag is lost.

Applying for an emergency custody order

An emergency order, sometimes called urgent or interim, is a quick temporary decision by a judge to keep children safe until a full hearing. Usually free or low cost through legal aid or a family court information centre.

• Where to start: family court in your province, a legal aid family lawyer, duty counsel at the courthouse, or a Family Justice Centre. A shelter worker can call and set this up for you.
• What you ask for: temporary decision making about the children, where they live, limits or supervision on the other parent's time, sometimes exclusive use of the home.
• How urgent applications work: in a true emergency a judge can hear you without the other parent present, called an order without notice. It's short term, with a follow up hearing usually within weeks.
• What to bring: identification, the children's birth certificates, and a written statement of what happened and why the children aren't safe. Dates and specifics matter more than strong words.
• What helps: your Incident Log entries, photos, messages, medical records, police file numbers, names of anyone who saw what happened.
• What happens next: the judge may set a temporary parenting arrangement and a return date. Keep every document, and photo it into the Vault.
• A protection order is separate from a custody order. You can ask for both; a shelter worker or duty counsel can explain which fits.
• Courts can often hear urgent matters within a day or two. After hours, police can often reach an emergency judge for a protection order.

Telling the school and the daycare

Schools and daycares can be quiet allies. You don't have to explain everything. A short conversation with the principal or director is usually enough to put protections in place.

• Ask to speak privately with the principal, director, or guidance counsellor, and ask the conversation stay confidential.
• Give them a copy of any custody order or protection order. Without paperwork, both parents usually have equal rights to pick up a child, so the order is what changes that.
• Put in writing who's allowed to pick up each child and who isn't, and ask them to confirm it back in writing.
• Update the emergency contact list to people you trust, and remove anyone your partner could use to reach the children.
• Ask them not to release your address, phone number, or the children's schedule to anyone, including the other parent, unless a court order requires it.
• Ask what happens if someone not on the list arrives, and have them call you and police right away rather than negotiating at the door.
• Moving to a new school? Ask if the file transfer can be flagged so your new address isn't shared with old contacts.
• Ask about counselling, lunch programs, bus arrangements, and support for children who've witnessed violence. Most districts offer these free.

Documenting your role as primary caregiver

Family courts look closely at who's been doing the daily parenting. Your Incident Log in this app is a private, time stamped place to build that picture, one short entry at a time.

• Log the ordinary things: school drop offs and pickups, bedtimes, meals, homework, who stays home when a child is sick.
• Log medical and dental appointments you booked and attended. Keep the appointment cards or emails.
• Log school contact: parent teacher meetings, permission forms signed, teacher messages.
• Log purchases for the children: clothing, shoes, school supplies, activity fees.
• Log the other parent's involvement factually: missed visits, cancellations, times unavailable. Write what happened, not how you felt.
• Log any incident the children saw or heard, with date and who was present. Matters for both safety and parenting decisions.
• Add photos, screenshots, and voice notes to entries. Rosie removes location and camera data from photos automatically.
• Write entries close to when they happened. A short, consistent record beats a long one written all at once.

Parenting plans and where to get help making one

A parenting plan is a written agreement about how the children will be cared for. It can be informal, part of a separation agreement, or a court order. Where there's been violence, it should reduce contact between you and the other parent.

• Usually covers: where the children live, the schedule including holidays, who decides on school and health care, and how you two communicate.
• Safety features to ask for: exchanges at a supervised access centre or police station, supervised visits, no contact except through a parenting app or third party, no changes without written agreement.
• Be specific about times, places, dates. Vague plans create arguments later, and specific plans are easier for police to enforce.
• Include a plan for lateness, a sick child, or the other parent not showing up.
• Where to get help: legal aid family lawyers, Family Justice Centres, family law information centres at the courthouse, free family law phone lines in most provinces.
• The federal Department of Justice publishes a free Parenting Plan Tool and checklist, with a family violence section.
• Family mediation is free or low cost in many provinces, but not always appropriate where there's been violence. You can say no, or ask for shuttle mediation with separate rooms.
• Don't sign anything you don't understand. Ask for time to have a lawyer or duty counsel review it first.

Planning the departure itself

With children, timing and rehearsal matter. The goal is a short, quiet, ordinary looking exit to a place you've already chosen.

• Choose a time when your partner is reliably away, like a work shift, and the children are with you or easy to collect.
• Call a shelter or provincial crisis line first to confirm space for you and your children. They'll hold it and can arrange a taxi.
• Pack a small bag for each child, kept somewhere your partner won't look, or at a trusted friend's home. Two normal looking bags travel better than four suitcases.
• Pack: identification and documents, medication, phone chargers, a few days of clothing, diapers and formula, one comfort item per child.
• Tell children only what they need to know, close to the time. Simple words work: we're going to stay somewhere safe for a while and I'm coming with you.
• Don't tell young children the address you're going to. Ask older children not to post about it or share their location.
• Turn off location sharing on the children's devices and check for family tracking apps before you leave.
• Have a backup for each step: a second place to go, a second person to call, cash in case cards are cancelled.
• If the exit feels dangerous, ask police for a civil standby so an officer is present while you and the children leave.
• Once you arrive, log the date, time, and what happened in your Incident Log, and start the school conversation within the first few days.

Tools in Rosie that help