Digital safety
If you think your phone is monitored, don't rush to change things. A sudden change can tip off an abusive partner. Read this when you have privacy, and go slow.
Monitoring is common. If it feels like something's watching, trust that. Nothing here needs to happen today. Read what's useful and take one careful step at a time when you have privacy.
Before you change anything
- Read this on a device your partner can't access: a work computer, a library computer, a friend's phone.
- Turning something off, deleting an app, or changing a password can notify whoever set it up. Think about timing first.
- Sometimes the safest move is to leave monitoring in place for now and use a second device for private conversations. That's a valid plan, not a failure.
- A shelter worker, victim services worker, or your provincial crisis line can help you time this. You don't have to decide alone.
Checking which apps can see your location
Location sharing is the most common way a partner tracks someone, and it's often buried in apps you use every day.
- iPhone: Settings, then Privacy and Security, then Location Services. Check every app's access Never, While Using, or Always. An app set to Always with no reason to need location is worth noting.
- iPhone: Settings, tap your name, then Find My. Check Share My Location and who it's shared with. Turning this off notifies the other person, so plan the timing.
- Android: Settings, then Location, then App location permissions. Review anything set to Allow all the time.
- Android: open Google Maps, tap your profile picture, choose Location sharing to see who can see you.
- Check Google Family Link, Apple Family Sharing, Life360, and similar apps. Built for parents, often used to track adults.
- Cars, tablets, smart watches, tile trackers, and AirTags can report location too. On iPhone, Find My alerts you to unknown trackers moving with you. On Android, check Unknown tracker alerts under Settings, then Safety and emergency.
- Write down what you find before changing anything. It's a record, and it helps a worker help you.
Looking for apps you did not install
Monitoring apps hide behind ordinary names: System Service, Device Health, Sync Manager, Wi Fi, or a plain grey icon.
- iPhone: swipe through every home screen page and the App Library, then check Settings, then General, then iPhone Storage for a full app list. Search anything unfamiliar on a different device.
- iPhone: Settings, then General, then VPN and Device Management. A profile you didn't add can let someone control and watch the phone.
- A jailbroken iPhone may have apps like Cydia or Sileo installed. Most people never install these themselves.
- Android: Settings, then Apps, then See all apps, then turn on Show system apps to see everything.
- Android: Settings, then Security and privacy, then Device admin apps. Look for anything unfamiliar with admin control.
- Android: check Accessibility settings. Monitoring apps often ask for accessibility access so they can read your screen.
- Run Google Play Protect or a well known security app to scan for known monitoring software.
- Deleting an app can be noticed immediately. If you find something, it may be safer to leave it until you have a plan and somewhere safe to go.
Signs that something may be running in the background
None of these alone mean you're monitored. Phones age and slow down. Several together, especially starting around one point in time, are worth noticing.
- Battery drains much faster, with no change in how you use the phone.
- The phone feels warm when you're not using it.
- Data usage jumps for no reason. Check Settings, then Cellular or Mobile data, for apps using a lot in the background.
- The phone is slow, apps crash, or the screen lights up untouched.
- Unusual sounds on calls, or the phone takes a long time to shut down.
- Your partner knows things you didn't tell them: where you were, who you spoke to, what you searched.
- Password reset emails, two factor codes, or login alerts you didn't request.
- Settings you changed reset themselves, or the phone updates or restarts on its own.
Checking whether your Apple ID or Google account is shared
Shared accounts are the quietest kind of monitoring. If your partner is signed in elsewhere, they may see your messages, photos, backups, and location with no app installed at all.
- iPhone: Settings, tap your name. You'll see every device signed in to your Apple ID. Note anything unfamiliar.
- Check if you and your partner share one Apple ID. That means iMessages, photos, and Find My are shared by default.
- iPhone: Settings, your name, then Family Sharing. Check who's in the family and who's the organizer.
- Google: sign in at myaccount.google.com, open Security, then Your devices and Recent security activity. Look for unfamiliar devices or logins.
- Check Google account recovery settings. A recovery number or email belonging to your partner can let them reset your password.
- Check whether messages forward anywhere. iPhone: Settings, then Messages, then Text Message Forwarding. Android: check your email for forwarding rules.
- Removing a device or leaving a family group usually notifies them. Choose a safe moment.
Changing passwords safely
Changing a password is often right, but timing matters more than speed.
- Change passwords from a device, and a network, your partner doesn't control.
- Start with email. Whoever controls it can reset almost everything else.
- Use passwords they can't guess. Skip pet names, birthdays, anniversaries, children's names, these are tried first.
- Turn on two step or two factor verification, with the code going to a number or app only you can see.
- Remove your partner's phone number and email from recovery options. Change security question answers if they know the real ones.
- Sign out of all other sessions once you've changed a password, so old logins stop working.
- Consider a brand new email address on a safe device, for shelters, lawyers, banks, and this app.
- If changing a password now would put you in danger, it's fine to wait until you're somewhere safe.
When it is time for a different phone
Sometimes the only way to be sure a phone is clean is to start fresh. This isn't an overreaction, and it doesn't have to be expensive.
- Consider a new device if you've found monitoring software, your partner set up the phone or controls the account, or you've checked everything and still feel watched.
- A factory reset removes most monitoring software, but restoring from the same backup or signing back into the same shared account can bring it back. Set the new phone up as new.
- An inexpensive prepaid phone bought with cash covers calls, texts, and a crisis line. Many shelters and victim services programs give one out free.
- Keep the new phone somewhere your partner won't find it, and turn off notification previews on the lock screen.
- Don't sign into your old Apple ID or Google account on the new phone. Create a new one.
- If you keep the old phone, use it normally so nothing looks different, while using the new one privately.
- Before you reset or replace anything, save evidence you may want later, like screenshots of threatening messages. Store copies in the Vault in this app.
Where to get help
Safety Net Canada, technology safety
Canadian guides on phone monitoring, tracking, and safer use of technology.
techsafety.ca
Get Cyber Safe
Government of Canada guidance on passwords, two factor verification, and account security.
www.getcybersafe.gc.ca
Canadian Anti Fraud Centre
Where to report accounts, identity, or devices being used against you.
antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca
ShelterSafe
Shelters across Canada. Many can provide a safe phone and help you plan the timing of changes.
www.sheltersafe.ca
You don't have to fix all of this at once, or be technical to protect yourself. Noticing, writing things down, and choosing your moment are real steps forward.